Knocked Up - First Trimester Reflections

Never could I have imagined the excitement of telling Elliott that we would be welcoming a baby into this world together. Totally awesome. And then the nausea sets in. Nausea for all of the cerebral reasons: there goes our money, our free time, our lives as we know it, etc. Then, nausea for all of the actual reasons. For example, "I'm going to puke if I see one more hamburger commercial."

Week 6 was uncomfortable and week 7 was pretty rough...  Week 8 the flood gates opened. This is real life and real puking. 12, 13, 14, 15 weeks... Still sick. My only saving grace is that "they" say it is an indication of a healthy pregnancy. While there is solace in that statement, it is not nearly as comforting as my midwife saying to me at week 12- "you're in survival mode." I am. You get it. It will be ok.

Nothing prepares you for the waves of "crushing nausea" - as perfectly stated by a friend of a friend in the same state. A friend, who in the same breath, said of the gal 'crushed' by nausea, "she's an amazingly strong person... I'm shocked this has her down the way it does." 

I find myself saying things like:

"I'm a strong woman, right?"

"If this is the rest of this pregnancy, I may lose more than my lunch."

And, as hard as it is to admit... "I'm not sure I can do this."
I can't, but we can (expect a post later about my super hubby).

I overheard Elliott mention to a close friend (at about week 8), "I haven't seen Lauren cry in years, she lost it last week..." Maybe it's the emotions and hormones of pregnancy, maybe it is the crushing defeat of having no control and the sheer magnitude of what is happening inside of ones own uterus... But it is real, it is exciting, and my goodness, it is hard. 

Thank the good Lord for Diclegis (a category A drug that is saving my stomach and my sanity right now), for the humility of taking my first sick days in 2.5 years, and for the hope of the second trimester! We can do this. 

On a brighter note, there has never been a more exciting time in our lives. After 15+ years together and 7 years married, we've finally made the decision to start a family. Scary, yes. Exciting, absolutely. 

Elliott is crunching budget numbers, "no more fun money," and he's already getting his anxious foot jostle as we sit in front of the midwife talking about classes, doulas, and baby prep (I've got to be honest, I am too). All of the stress and puking aside, we are thrilled to take this next step. Everything will work out because we have family and friends who love us, lots of parent friends who are on call for the "is this normal?" questions, and each other to partner through all of it - which is the best part of all. 

Love to all.