New Territory

Screaming babies, booger pickin' toddlers, awkward teens, and to-cool-for-school youths are everywhere.

They've always been there, but I didn't really notice them until now. Come November 5th, we're going to be responsible for another human. I see parents scrambling to keep it together. At fast food restaurants, I hear parents yell their kid's name (first, middle, and last) followed by some life threatening slur stating the consequences if they don't get out of the playground and eat their kids' meal. I think to myself, "oh $#!+, that's going to be us." Our future is starting to become more of a reality, especially every time Lauren comes barreling into the bathroom to up-chuck the delicious sausage/spinach/onion/mushroom egg scrambler (garnished with avocados, of course) I prepared 10 minutes prior. Was it the eggs, the almond milk, the fact that I can't cook, or the simple truth that Lauren is growing a miniature homo sapien in her body? I try to be sympathetic. I try to comfort her. I say thing like, "you can handle this; show that fetus who's boss!" Followed by, "hurry up, we're going to be late for work." I have to "encourage" her from a distance because I have the WORST gag reflex! I try to hold her hair back, but I usually wind up just shoving it in the back of her shirt before running out of the bathroom. She's excited to see how I react once I have to cleanup my first diaper blowout. 

To help me prepare for what's to come in November, Lauren has been trying to educate me on childbirth. "I learned everything I need to know from my time at Old Hatchie Vet Clinic," doesn't satisfy her. Apparently, a set of chains, a fence post, and a come-along will not be involved. Lauren is adamant about having a natural birth. Midwives, doulas (not to be confused with a medulla oblongata), birthing coaches, and Ricky Lake are all terms that we talk about routinely. After watching (most of it) the Business of Being Born on Netflix, I'm starting to understand what we signed up for when we signed a contract with VCU Health's midwifery program. Contrary to my assumptions, we will not be having our baby in a wooden hut with tiki torches and a dancing witch doctor. We'll be delivering with trained medical professionals, supporting staff, and in a hospital (the best

Hospital in VA to be exact) should anything go wrong. I'm planning to be Lauren's "birthing partner". I'm not entirely sure what that means yet, but she bought me the manual to read while we soak up the sun on the lake this summer!

We feel like there is so much we have to do, but I don't think either one of us feel rushed to get them done. I'm more concerned about the parenting stuff we need to learn after our kid is born. I often ask: Is Macgyver's kid the reason everything now has to be baby-proofed? Should we make our kid play piano? Is Neyland Peyton a good name for a boy or a girl? Do we start saving for college or make them pay their own way? Will we have to go  over a wall to vacation in Mexico? Why do all babies love Sophie the Giraffe? Is it safe to wash my clothes with used cloth diapers? Are science experiments still a thing? If I ask them to pull my finger, will they laugh at what comes next? Is it still safe to rub dirt on scratches? We have so much to learn. But, I couldn't ask for a better partner to figure all of this stuff out with together. Lauren is going to be an incredible mom, and I can't wait to start a family with her.

Until next time, bye!

PS, We just found out that our baby can now hear sounds. Feel free to send us your favorite songs for the Baby Moore playlist!

Knocked Up - First Trimester Reflections

Never could I have imagined the excitement of telling Elliott that we would be welcoming a baby into this world together. Totally awesome. And then the nausea sets in. Nausea for all of the cerebral reasons: there goes our money, our free time, our lives as we know it, etc. Then, nausea for all of the actual reasons. For example, "I'm going to puke if I see one more hamburger commercial."

Week 6 was uncomfortable and week 7 was pretty rough...  Week 8 the flood gates opened. This is real life and real puking. 12, 13, 14, 15 weeks... Still sick. My only saving grace is that "they" say it is an indication of a healthy pregnancy. While there is solace in that statement, it is not nearly as comforting as my midwife saying to me at week 12- "you're in survival mode." I am. You get it. It will be ok.

Nothing prepares you for the waves of "crushing nausea" - as perfectly stated by a friend of a friend in the same state. A friend, who in the same breath, said of the gal 'crushed' by nausea, "she's an amazingly strong person... I'm shocked this has her down the way it does." 

I find myself saying things like:

"I'm a strong woman, right?"

"If this is the rest of this pregnancy, I may lose more than my lunch."

And, as hard as it is to admit... "I'm not sure I can do this."
I can't, but we can (expect a post later about my super hubby).

I overheard Elliott mention to a close friend (at about week 8), "I haven't seen Lauren cry in years, she lost it last week..." Maybe it's the emotions and hormones of pregnancy, maybe it is the crushing defeat of having no control and the sheer magnitude of what is happening inside of ones own uterus... But it is real, it is exciting, and my goodness, it is hard. 

Thank the good Lord for Diclegis (a category A drug that is saving my stomach and my sanity right now), for the humility of taking my first sick days in 2.5 years, and for the hope of the second trimester! We can do this. 

On a brighter note, there has never been a more exciting time in our lives. After 15+ years together and 7 years married, we've finally made the decision to start a family. Scary, yes. Exciting, absolutely. 

Elliott is crunching budget numbers, "no more fun money," and he's already getting his anxious foot jostle as we sit in front of the midwife talking about classes, doulas, and baby prep (I've got to be honest, I am too). All of the stress and puking aside, we are thrilled to take this next step. Everything will work out because we have family and friends who love us, lots of parent friends who are on call for the "is this normal?" questions, and each other to partner through all of it - which is the best part of all. 

Love to all.

High Altitude Training

Denver, yet another iconic city I've never visited, until now. Though I was here for two solid weeks on my training assignment, I feel like I didn't have near enough time to explore what all the Mile-High City had to offer. Speaking of high, let's get one thing out of the way. I did not smoke any weed during my stay. Actually, it wasn't as prevalent as I was expecting. To be honest, I came to town thinking hash brownies would be on the complimentary breakfast buffet at the hotel. That wasn't the case; but they had scrumptious powdered eggs, greasy sausage patties and crispy hash browns! Wait, were those peppers in the hash browns?! 

Anyways, the folks I was working with at Central Federal Lands definitely put me to work analyzing accident data for Zion National Park. The workdays were a blur. I'd get to the office by 7am and check-in with the security guard at the front desk (who, after hearing my accent, wanted me to say a different word every morning as a "password" so that he could have a little chuckle in response to my not-so-Midwestern pronunciation... "oil" is a hard word to say). I'd try to remember my way to my cubicle - up the stairs, past the library, right at the bathroom, right at the printer, left at the window, continue straight until you get to the overhead fluorescent light that is a tad bit more pink than white. I had arrived. I'd settle in at my empty cube, only prairie doggin' when there was a strange noise, loud laughter, or to try and scope the closest water fountain.  I only left for lunch and to meet briefly with my supervisor to get updated marching orders. The work was monotonous, challenging, yet rewarding. I was lucky to leave everyday by 6:30. My sole motivation would be to catch the "early" games that would come on at night. Mountain time has its advantages! I rarely saw the sun during the day, except when I took the left at the window. I was lucky to have a holiday (#happyvetransday) and a full weekend to get out and about. 

On Wednesday, I took a ride on the light rail to Union Station.

   

   

Positioned on the western side of the notorious 16th Street Mall, about 14 blocks of retail stores and restaurants leading to the outskirts of the State Capital Building, the station was the perfect gateway to the historic part of downtown Denver, Coors Field, and the University of Colorado's campus. 

 

After exploring all of these places, I stopped in for a piece of pie at Slice Works, then had one (or two) beers at Wynkoop Brewery. Confession: I had one of their infamous "Rocky Mountain Oyster" stouts. This foreign-style stout is happily brewed with approximately 3 RMOs per barrel... I should alert Old Hatchie Vet that there may be a market for their freshly harvested RMOs. 

The following Saturday I got to visit the iconic Red Rocks Amphitheater. Most well-known artists have a live album recorded here. I didn't know what to expect as I had never searched for pictures of the place. I was floored to say the least! It almost felt like you had been shrunk by Wayne Szalinski (#honeyishrunkthekids) and then wandered into the center of an ant pile. It'd be hard to figure out the best seat in that place. Do you sit down low where you could possibly catch a guitar pick from your favorite band, or do you sit at the top where you could see the backdrop of Denver's high-rises? I bet the easterly views of a full moon during a night concert are magical. Even though concerts are finished until next spring, the place was packed with local exercise enthusiasts. The show offs were running the length of each row all the way to the top. There were even crazy people jumping from one row to next row above all the way to the top. Even as a marathoner, I felt out of shape.  

On Sunday, my oh-so-supportive wife encouraged me to spend our life savings to go watch our beloved Peyton Manning set the NFL record for career passing yards. With the 8 inches of snow melting off from a recent storm, the weather turned out to be perfect for sitting outside on aluminum bleachers. Sitting on the 40 yd line, three rows from the top of Sports Authority Field at Mile High, I had the perfect vantage point to see history... Run play, run play, interception... Kansas City TD...  Run play, Peyton fumbles, 4-yd completion! There, I had finally seen Peyton surpass Brett Favre's record. Interesting side note, my wife has met both of these men and still chose to marry me. #winning. But from that point forward, I also got to see Peyton play the worst game of his career, eventually getting him benched in the second half. He completed 5 passes to his team, and 4 to the opposing team (should have been 6). Regardless, it was an awesome day for football. From the pre-game parachuters, the fighter jets flying over during the national anthem, and the picturesque sunset behind the stadium, I thoroughly enjoyed everything.           

I finished out the next week working hard to leave a good, lasting impression on my colleagues. One of the big wigs took me out to dinner on the last night to discuss my future plans with the agency. Lauren and I are not mobile right now, but it's good to know we may have opportunities in the future. 

In closing, I'd like to report a celebrity sighting... well, sort of. After getting settled in on the first leg of my flights home, I noticed all of the women on the plane were taking selfies with the guy sitting in front of me. Some of the guys were high-fiving him on their way to their seats. Feeling outside of the cool club, I leaned over to the gentleman sitting next to me and asked who this guy was. "Man, that's Kenny G!" Nodding my head as if I knew who in the hell that was, I stealthily did a quick Google search to solve the mystery. Kenny G, is an American saxophonist who broke out in the early 80's. He's, more than likely, the guy who you hear playing Christmas songs over the speakers in the mall this time of year. Apparently he's still a big deal... so big that he's flying coach next to a government employee. At least he had an aisle seat, Kenny!

I'm taking off all next week to spend time with family for Thanksgiving, and then I'll be back on the road. Y'all enjoy the holiday!

Cheers!

What timezone am I in?!

Hey y'all! As promised (one month late), here is an update on my recent travels. 

After getting back from my Montana adventure, Lauren and I spent the weekend in Knoxville. The weekend was filled with great friends, hoppy beverages, and the Astro-Dobbs led Volunteers! The Browless Bomber had one of the greatest games of his collegiate career, which allowed Lauren and I to witness the Vols pullout an epic comeback victory over Georgia. It was the first time we have seen Tennessee win in person in THREE YEARS! That's unbelievable. So much has happened in that time frame... we adopted The Great Grahambeano; many of our friends have had babies, potty-trained them, and have made 3 years worth of college tuition payments into their Gerber Life plans; Bruce Pearl got to coach again, and Bruce Jenner started carrying Coach purses; and Snapchat became the preferred method to share mischievous secrets. Lauren and I were starting to think that we were the curse, but then we found out that one of our diehard Volunteer friends left the game before halftime, sparking one of the greatest come-from-behind victories in the program's history... Sorry Whit, but thanks for breaking the streak!

The next week I was back to work and spent a few days down in Asheville, NC in pursuit of the not-so-famous "Moto-man". This is not a mythological reincarnation of Evel Knievel, but rather a made-up figure on a roadway sign that was created to notify motorcyclists that they're about to traverse a life threatening curve on the Blue Ridge Parkway. The crash statistics compiled after this sign was installed show a negative sloped trend line (for you folks who still add and subtract using your fingers/toes, picture the line going from the top left of the page to the bottom right). I wanted to investigate the situation to see if we should consider a nationwide installation program. After 9 hours in the car, traveling up and down the Parkway, I gave up on this mission when I realized that any previously installed signs had been sign-napped by mischievous bikers... probably Vespa riders.  However, I did find a replica of the sign in one of the Parkway's gift shops.

Though I wasn't able to come to any scientific conclusion on the effectiveness of the sign, I believe the program's success revolved more around the public outreach campaign conducted prior to its installation. The trip wasn't a complete waste of time; I did get to enjoy the changing fall foliage along the parkway. I also got to go on a pretty sweet hike and eat at White Duck Taco. 

After Asheville, I headed back out west to Salt Lake City, UT to evaluate a forest road in the Uinta National Forest

The forest itself is about an hour and a half south of SLC, so I spent my nights in Provo, UT. That's BYU country for your college buffs. This forest was similar to the Flathead out in Montana, but completely different at the same time. Cottonwoods stole the show out in Montana, but the Aspens claimed the limelight in Utah. We missed them in their prime by about two weeks, but they still stood out against the deep greens of the pines and the reddish, low-profile scrub oaks.

One of the cool things about the road we were reviewing was that it had several retaining walls built by the Civilian Conservation Corps. For those of you who are as ignorant as I was about the CCC, they were created by Roosevelt back in the 1930's. The purpose of the Corps was to provide jobs for unskilled fellas who were struggling after the Great Depression. They worked to conserve and develop natural resources on local, state, and federally owned lands. The CCC eventually dissolved once WWII began. Doing so research, I discovered that Roosevelt shared in School House Rocks' love of the magic number 3 as there were:

A maximum of 300,000 workers hired at any one time;

3 million men participated in the program;

They made $30 per week (of which $25 had to be sent home)

They planted nearly 3 billion trees during the program.

(thanks for the info, Wikipedia)

The day before I left, it was recommended that I visit Temple Square. Little did I know, I had been bamboozled into visiting the very place where Brigham Young established the homestead of the Mormon church. Bamboozled may be too harsh of a word, and a bit misleading; but when I was bombarded with scriptures by Sisters on their 18-month mission, I couldn't help but feel like someone who just realized they weren't going door to door with their new Jehovah Witness friend to find their lost puppy... Wait, what? The people within the Temple were great, not pushy at all. The outside of the Temple and inside of the Tabernacle were beautiful. Since I wasn't a devout Mormon, or even Mormon at all, I wasn't allowed to go inside the temple. Turns out that my Southern Baptist key isn't compatible. 

This week I got to mark one place off of my bucket list; I got to go to Portland, OR! It. Was. Awesome! This is where hipsters became hipsters, where Sasquatch was born, where microbreweries serve more beverages than Coke, and where I've wanted to visit for some time. The weather was awesome my first full day, but back to normal for the area (fog/rain) on my last day. I was only there two full days (plus two very long travel days), but I got to do some cool things. I spent most of my time after work driving around the city and exploring different neighborhoods. The Pearl District was one of my favorites. It was busy yet hectic yet homey, quirky yet quaint. It reminded me a lot of the Fan in Richmond (if you don't get that reference, come visit). I got to go on a quick 5 mile hike in Forest Park before going to a local brewery. The park is one of the largest downtown parks in the nation... so "they" say. It was unlike anything I've seen before. I was familiar with the maples and Douglas firs, but not with how large they were nor how everything was covered with moss. I mean everything! Tree trunks, branches, leaves, wooden fence railings, stones, and small children. It was so thick on some trees that ferns had started to grow on top of the branches. Speaking of ferns, the ground was covered in them as well as English ivy. The drizzle dropping off the trees onto the ferns made it look like you were walking next to a green wave. It was pretty awesome.

I made it a point to visit a local brewery and a brewpub. I've always heard that Portland has more microbreweries per capita than any other city, but I haven't checked that fact. I also go to eat at an awesome "southern" restaurant called The Screen Door. Their fried chicken was as good as advertised, but I still think the ladies in VCU Medical Center's cafeteria still take home the prize for the best fried chicken I've ever had. #friedchickenfridays

To cap off my trip, I made a quick visit to the famous Voodoo Donuts. After waiting in line for 20+ minutes, I realized they were cash only, and I had no cash. After walking 7 blocks in the rain to find an ATM and then waiting another 20+ minutes in line, I got to eat my first VooDoo maple-bacon bar. It was pretty tasty, but I don't know that it was worth the trouble. 

I traveled back to Richmond in time to enjoy Halloween with Lauren and friends. We decided to go as Forrest and Jenny. If you don't know who that is, please stop reading this blog. We are no longer friends. Believe it or not, we actually ordered costumes from Amazon for this iconic American couple. Unfortunately, we didn't realize that we ordered them from China... Last I checked, they'll be here by Dec 3rd. The good news is that we were able to improvise; and come December, I'll have some extra clothes to wear while mowing the yard. "And cause I was a gazillionaire, and I liked doin it so much, I cut that grass for free." 

While we were giving out candy from our front stoop, one set of parents asked me, "are you supposed to be Forrest Gump?" When I responded with, "yes ma'am; and this in my Jenny," she chuckled and said she wasn't sure if I just normally dressed like that... Though our costumes were great, the award has to go to my buddy, McCall. He dressed up as your's truest! 

"Hey McCall, are you dressed as a redneck or a  Vol fan?" - stranger

"I'm both! I'm Elliott!" - McCall

The Sunday after Halloween, I flew out to Fresno, CA. I got to spend the week in the Sierra National Forest. 

On Monday, we were blindsided by the region's first snowstorm. Since we'd be working around 7,000 ft, I thought we'd only get a dusting. Well, that dusting turned out to be about 14" of snow. We made an attempt to drive our route when there was only about 3" of snow on the ground, but we quickly spun-out and almost slid off the mountain. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a tad on that last comment. But, the vehicle did slide! 

We decided to hunker down in a small town called Shaver Lake. It's named after the lake it butts up to, Shaver Lake... Genius. The town was awesome! 

The complex we stayed in had individual cabins and a 5 bedroom "hotel". The government rate would only allow us to stay in the hotel, which was more than adequate.

We visited several restaurants Monday evening to do our part to keep their local economy thriving. At the end of the week, we had eaten at 6 of their 7 restaurants/pubs. Apparently, Shaver Lake is crazy busy during the summer and the dead of winter, but we had the run of the town this week. There is a nice ski resort about 15 miles northwest of the town which is really popular. As far as the forest goes, we got to see a small grove of giant sequoias while we were there. I've never seen anything like them before. I thought the 100 year old white oak in my front yard was big,  but it looks like a bonsai tree compared to these 2000 year old, 19 foot diameter, giant lumber sticks. It's no wonder we haven't found Sasquatch yet. He's probably propped up next to one of these things. 

We also got to visit Wishon Dam. We were assessing the one lane road that traverses the top of this 3,330 (what is it with 3's?!) foot long structure. We were the only ones there, and it was super spooky. 

 

After our debrief on Thursday morning, I took the day off to explore Fresno. I wound up going to a Fresno State football game.

I have to be honest, I said a little prayer because I was/am so thankful to have been raised a Vol fan. I don't think we all know how fortunate we are to have Neyland and 102,455 that come with it. There is no replacing the atmosphere in Knoxville come Saturday in the fall. Fresno State, to their credit, is a passionate fan base. Their tailgating may have been similar to the atmosphere at a spaghetti dinner at church, but they were having a good time. Heck, I had a good time. I stuck it out until just before halftime. I had to leave once I saw their kicker miss an extra point attempt to tie the game. It brought back too many bad memories of Medley's meltdown against Bama this year. 

Anyways, I fly back to Richmond tonight for the weekend. Then I'm off to Denver for two straight weeks. I'm scheduled to go to Phoenix the week after Thanksgiving, but that's likely to get snowed out. I know you're scratching your head after that statement, but I'll be in the Tonto National Forest. They supposedly got a dusting from the same storm that hit California this week 😉

Cheers!